Communication For Parents - How To Understand And Talk To Your Children

'The development of a tree depends on where it is planted.' Edward Joyner, Yale University

1. “One finger cannot lift a pebble.” A child’s success is the shared responsibility of parents and teachers. Befriend the teacher. Stay informed about your child’s progress.

2. When you get involved, your child gets better grades and is more likely to go on to higher education. Your relationship gets stronger. Your involvement is the best investment you can make for your child’s education.

3. Eight-six percent of school children say they still need their parent’s help with homework. Show interest in your child’s schoolwork and discuss what he is learning. Create a home environment to encourage learning which is more important than income or cultural background.

4. Don’t interrupt. Don’t ignore. You can’t listen and talk at the same time. New information can only enter the mind if the mouth is closed and the ears open.

5. Don’t open your mouth until you know what you want to say. Ask yourself: what is this about? What is it not about? You can stay in control of yourself and the situation when you say what you mean and mean what you say.

6. Ask a specific question if you want a specific answer: What does she have to do to bring her grades up? What would you suggest I do?
For more information, ask questions like these: Can you give me an example? What can I do to become involved?

7. Your child has very strong opinions, knows it all and has little patience with parents. Recognize that this is a phase. Seventy-two percent of children say they would like to spend more time with their parents. Kids start tantrums when they think their parents are not giving in to them. What they really want is to be listened to.

8. Before you make a decision or pass judgment, know all the facts. Be aware of your tone of voice. If it’s accusing or rude, the situation could get worse. It will cause distrust and lack of respect. You can buy time by saying you have to think about it.

9. Some reasons why kids drop out of school: low self-esteem, poor parent-child relationships, lack of respect, disinterest in their activities and permissive parenting.

10. Graduating from high school ensures that your child will earn an average of $200,000 more in their lifetime than those who drop out. College graduates make almost $1 million dollars more.

11. Your child learns by example. What the ears hear, the mouth repeats. What you do, they do.

12. Talk about feelings even though they are uncomfortable. Listen and accept your child’s feelings even though it may be hard to take. Don’t dismiss them. Be honest, be patient, be respectful, be encouraging. Tell him you love him.

13. Know your child and who her friends are. Nurture her interests outside of school. Make time to talk. Encourage her to talk about current events, school, friends, her dreams, etc.

Gloria Pierre,
Clearly Speaking,
Redefine Your Communication,
Contributor Immigrant Post